Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Cloyd Rivers?
Who are you? Cloyd Rivers is a pure badass Merican. Ninety-nine percent sex appeal and hundred percent Merica.
Why are you selling “stuff?”
Well, male modelin’ ain’t really payin’ the bills no more. A fella gots to pay for his gravy and sweet tea somehow.
Can this websited be trusted? I mean, is it secure?
It’s locked up tighter than Fort Knox bud. All the payments is processed through a 128-bit encrypted SSL server (whatever the hell that is), so ain’t nobody around these parts seein’ your credit card number or nothin’. Just your name and address.
What happens if an item is “Backordered?”
If you choose to order an item that is “backordered,” it will ship as soon as it is back in-stock. On the item page, a specfic date will be given as to when the item will be available.
**Important** If you place an order with items that are both in-stock and “backordered” or on “pre-order,” your order will NOT ship until ALL items are in-stock.
What the hell Cloyd, some of your shirts have sleeves. You hate sleeves.
You’re right, ain’t no need for sleeves. This is Merica, we gots the right to bare arms. But, some folks still like ’em. All you need is a mason jar of sweet tea and a pair of scissors and boom, no sleeves.
You don’t have my size. What do I do?
Take a deep breath and don’t get your britches in a knot. If your size is sold out, it’ll be back soon. You’ll just have to start a Merica chant or fight some terror until it’s back in stock. Your move.
What’s it gonna take to get a size chart around here?
Throw an air hump and cool your jets, Merica gots your back.
What shipping method do you use?
USPS, as in the United States Postal Service. Most everything is sent First Class Mail. If you have a large order, we’ll bump it up to Priority Mail at no extra cost. You can always trust a company that gots an eagle for a logo and red, white and blue for it’s colors.
How fast do you ship?
All orders will ship out within two days. For example, if you order on a Monday, your order will ship out no later than Wednesday afternoon. 99% of the time, orders ship within 24 hours, but sometimes a fella needs to take a break, have some sweet tea and bust a few flexes.
What is the shipping time?
It shouldn’t take too long y’all. The red, white and blue gots your back. It usually takes about 3 days, 5 at the most.
Can you ship my stuff overnight or somethin’ faster than First Class Mail?
Yeah, we can, but it’s going to cost you. If you want your baddass shirt, tank or koozie lightenin’ fast, send us an email as soon as you order. We’ll take a look at what you ordered and we can work somethin’ out.
Can you tell me the status of my order?
Do deers hate camo? Hell yes we can. The easiest way is for you to send us a message HERE
with the billing name, e-mail address and date of your order. We’ll look it up and get you sorted out.
I have a product idea for you Cloyd, do you want to hear it?
Sure we do. Send it to us HERE
. If you’re lucky, We might just make your dreams come true.
Hey Cloyd, will you promote or advertise somethin’ for me?
It depends. If it’s for a good cause or you’re sellin’ somethin’ badass like sweet tea, boots or toothpicks, then maybe. Otherwise, prolly not. Either way, click HERE
, send us a message and we’ll get back to you one way or the other.
Do you accept returns?
Sort of. You may return an item for an exchange or store credit, but refunds ain’t given. Sorry.
Do you accept exchanges?
Yes. Exchanges are accepted only for the same item in a different size. If you need to exchange an item, please send a message HERE
**Important** The buyer is responsible for the cost of shipping for all exchanges.
Do you love Merica?
Hell yes we do. Merica.
If, for any reason your order is returned to sender, you are responsible for the cost of shipping the second time. The shipping address that you enter during checkout is the exact address where your order will be shipped. Please double check to make sure it is correct before placing your order. Merica.